A couple of interrupted sleeps followed, and then I was ready to try it again. This little, precious baby was all smiles and laughter during the day. She fell asleep easily. She woke up happy. There were just a few hours in between that were so unpredictable. I resigned myself to what I always thought I would never do. I was going to let her cry. I'd let her go as long as it had taken to soothe her on the most challenging night. 1 hr. I would need backup though.
The midnight hour came and went, and at 3:45am on the dot the cries came in with a vengeance. I watched the clock... one minute... two... three...
Five minutes was my breaking point. So I went and checked on her. She was not tangled in her blankets, or stuck in a corner with her face smushed. She wasn't hyperventiallting. I told her I loved her (best advice I'd recieved) and that I knew she would be just fine. I went back to my bed, ipod in hand, and asked Krishna Das to soothe my soul. This continued for another twenty minutes, with me checking on the babe every 5 minutes or so (and when I say or so, I mean every 4min and 58sec). She was still crying off and on, and I was still not at peace with my decision, but was reminding myself how much better we would both feel when this was all over.
This is the moment that my own will and intuition took over. The books no longer mattered. I forgot all about the doctors and the "experts." I finally was able to hear my own voice through all of the cries and Om Namah Shivayas. I needed a pen and paper. I was actually inspired!
Pen to the paper and all of a sudden a rush of words came streaming out of the pen as if I found the kink in the hose that was backing up the water supply. WOOOSH!
After the pen was finished extracting all of the emotion from within me, I read and re-read the words of wisdom aloud. I read to myself. I read to B. I felt calmness overcome me. As the words stood still on the rose tinted paper, their meaning was coming alive; with that aliveness came peace. And quiet.
I channel all of the women who came before me and all that will come after me for the strength we both need.
I share my prana, life-force, calming breath, and faith with you, B, knowing that we both desire peace.
It is with love and a nurturing heart that I persevere-- for our health and well-being.
I channel all of the women who came before me and all that will come after me for the wisdom we both need.
I share my prana, life-force, calming breath and faith with you, B, knowing that we both desire peace.
It is with love and a nurturing heart that I persevere-- for our health and well-being.
If you or any woman you know has a story of intuition, rather than statistics or research, getting you and your child through a difficult moment, please post, or email to rbeccaeagle@gmail.com. Inspire others to look within!
